Xander reached his 100th day
this weekend. In Korea, that's an occasion for a party. In the old
days, that's when a baby received his or her name, though now it
looks like they are named at birth. We celebrated Xander's hundredth
day with me struggling to make him take a nap, and him refusing and
becoming more and more hysterical as the day wore on. By 7pm, he was
crying without a break.
Naps have become difficult here, and
it's hard to say why. Xander has always been a reluctant napper, but
some time in the past week he decided that he just wasn't going to nap any more. I checked out a few books on the subject, and we
tried a few techniques over the week with little avail. Everyone
touts “cry it out,” and Bobby reluctantly tried it. Nightmare.
Not only did Xander cry for 30 minutes straight, which was as long as
Bobby could handle leaving him in his crib, but he cried for an hour
after Bobby picked him up. We tried setting regular naptimes with
nominal success. He'll somewhat adhere to them—it can take up to
an hour to get him to fall asleep at his nap time, even when he's clearly tired. Yesterday I tried the baby whisperer's technique. I
picture the baby whisperer as a ruler slapping nanny who chides me
for not putting the baby to bed at 6:30pm (roughly when I get home at
night), letting him go to sleep after a meal, and rocking him to
sleep. Nonetheless, she and many others think that if you put a baby
down while he is still awake, he will not wake up and feel bewildered
to be in the crib.
So yesterday spent the requisite hour
rocking my reluctant napper to almost-sleep. I put him in his crib
and sat down next to it. He startled awake, then fell back asleep,
startled awake, then fell back asleep. After the fifth startle, he
was up. I picked him back up and rocked him back to sleep while he
cried and fought me. I put him down, the same thing happened. I
picked him back up and repeated. This time, when he startled himself
awake, I let him stay in the crib since he seemed to be happier
there. I had previously removed all the distractions and darkened
the room, but he laid there and kicked his legs for an hour. I left
the room a few times; he didn't seem to mind. He just wasn't going
to sleep. He actually managed to turn 180 degrees so he could see
his toys bunched at the back of his crib, then got excited about
that.
Needless to say, after five hours of
trying to get this baby to sleep I gave up on the nap. He was
miserable all evening.
Today, I spent an hour rocking him to
sleep. A comically frustrating part of this routine is that Xander
will poop at least once during this time, after which I will take him
to his changing table, he will see his mobile, and will party himself
back awake. So after a little over an hour, he was out. I had
swaddled him to avoid the startle, and I let him sleep in my lap for
half an hour. I put him in his crib. He's been in there for ten
minutes.
Today I put the sleep training books
down and started How Do Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm at Night, a
book about how people from all over the world care for their babies.
What a relief. Most parenting books make me feel like a failure. Either I coddle my baby to much by rocking him to sleep, wearing him, and letting him sleep in a bassinet next to me, or I am too distant because I use a stroller, don't technically cosleep, and would like him to nap in his crib. This book reminds me that there are many ways to raise a baby.
And he's up. Shucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment