I have recently spent way too much time reading expat blogs. They are interesting, partly because many of these people have lived in Korea for awhile, speak some Korean, and have valuable insights on things that are going on around us, many of which, as a foreigner, I wouldn't know about. Longtime expats have had some time to digest Korean culture and explain it to us with an outsider's perspective. They don't tiptoe around our cultural differences like newcomers. This can lead to some very negative content.
Most of us go through a few phases when we come to Korea. The first is awe and excitement. Korea is so different! We learn something every time we leave the house. Visits to the obligatory tourist stops and foreigner friendly korean restaurants are gentle, manufactured experiences full of smiling people. Most of us left the U.S. because we were tired of our own countries, and Korea's rich culture, ample public transportation, and solicitous, lovely people are a welcome change.
Most of us are feted with the Korea that locals want to present to the outsiders during these first few weeks and months, a simplistic version of positive aspects of the culture. Koreans respect their elders. They are community and family oriented. They are health conscious. Once and awhile, the dirty underside peeks up when we are accosted by a drunken ajoshi or watch a few people hock noisy, disgusting lugies on the sidewalk. During these early days, we liberal minded tell ourselves that we are not equipped to judge a different culture, reminding ourselves that there are negative aspects to American culture as well.
Then, about six months to a year in, the shine wears off. We have been shoved headfirst into a culture with values that are almost polar opposites to ours, and we start to hate every bit of it. The rigid heirarchical structure of the workplace, the ethnocentricism, and the homogeneity rubs us raw. The whole country smells like kimchi. Gender politics are stuck in the fifties. We hate the way Korean girls giggle, that the lady at the checkout counter can't understand us even though we are speaking Korean, and that Koreans everywhere are still telling us what we should buy, how we should use the subway, how we should eat our food, despite the fact that we're no longer newcomers, damnit. This state of knee jerk disgust at everything can last awhile, and many people leave the country without ever getting past it.
After awhile, many of us find some normalization. For me, I learned to carve out a small space for myself here. I conduct my life like the American I am, albeit with a wide space for Korean culture. I learned to accept that everyone in my office will do as I ask if they can pretend the senior Korean man asked. I learned to smile and wave at people who stare, but to keep walking. We cook American food and do American things like barbecue and visit the beach, as well as Korean things like shop at the vegetable markets and go out for Korean barbecue. In a way, this has become home, though I'll always be a stranger.
Which brings me back to the expat blogs. Many of these people have lived in Korea for years, yet their blogs have the negative tones of newbies. Part of this could be because of recent ugly events*. Exasperation also makes for better writing. We all have to vent sometimes, doubly so because we're making nice in another country, a situation that never stops being delicate. I need to stop reading them so much, because they are bringing me back to my earlier self.
Korea annoys me, America annoys me. I don't miss the self-centeredness of my own culture (Asians do not take time off to "find themselves," for example). I do miss the individualism, so much so that I get overly excited when I see someone with colorful hair.
*That video actually aired and it was very offensive, but I came away from the whole event pleasantly surprised at how many Koreans stood up for us and mocked the video. Holding it against Korea as a whole would be like holding the opinions of Rush Limbaugh against all Americans.
No comments:
Post a Comment