The Health Police

I'm currently contemplating an apple a little smaller than my head. This, along with an even larger pear, is Mr. Pan's Chuseok gift to me. Koreans value health above all else, and their gift baskets contain fruits, nuts, and sometimes ginseng. Bobby and I have been marveling at the W70,000 gift boxes of nuts we have been finding at the grocery store. These gargantuan fruits probably came in a box that cost at least W20,000. Ginseng is the most expensive health treat, running around W100,000 for a gift box.

These massive fruits are items I would sometimes find at the Harris Teeter, and shun because I figure they are a product of hormones and genetic engineering. I wonder how these apples grew. Nonetheless, they are incredibly tasty, and I made a valiant attempt to finish one this morning (I got halfway through).  Something this massive was meant to be shared.  Sadly, Bobby doesn't like apples. Koreans are always accosting him for his obviously unhealthy eating habits. That's another thing about Koreans—they consider it their duty to let you know when you are doing something unhealthy. Mr. Pan tells me that when he and his wife go to a family dinner, his family tells her not to eat. Mr. Pan's wife is far from obese—I'd actually put her on the high side of normal weight. Sometimes I wonder if Koreans really are “naturally thin” or if what I'm witnessing is institutionalized anorexia and bulimia. Somehow, drinking soju to the point of extreme inebriation is okay, as is weaving a scooter in and out of traffic with no helmet, but that donut will kill you.

I learned last week that the #1 item procured illegally for Koreans from our PX is vitamins. That's right, they bypass the duty free European chocolates and perfumes and the liquor shelf and go straight for the multivitamins. Such things exist over here, but they are massively expensive, just like the fruit. I guess we're witnessing Adam Smith in action here: Koreans value vitamins, thus they have a lot of monetary value here. The country is only a generation or two from widespread extreme, starvation-inducing poverty, so I guess I understand.

I enjoy healthy food, and I like to eat here. I like knowing that there's probably not high fructose corn syrup in anything I consume, and that I am not facing down a small mountain of french fries with every plate I purchase. (Over here, you can buy fries separately at American restaurants, but you will usually share an order). I like knowing that my food is made from actual ingredients instead of things doctored to taste like actual ingredients. I am glad to find that I was right in defending my love of white rice all these years. A billion Asians can't be wrong—white rice will not make anyone fat.

Nonetheless, the relentless obsession with health and resulting evangelism I experience here annoys me. I enjoy donuts, damnit, and don't take kindly to being judged all the time. What's a holiday without carbohydrates? Not that America has it right. We have a similar dieting obsession, but with an expectation to find a shortcut that leads us to gobble absurdities like low fat cheesecake. Americans tend to be too fat or too thin, but rarely in between and always hating ourselves. I want to find a place where people eat unhealthy foods in moderation and delight in doing so. I think I would like to try Europe next.

How do you like them apples? They come in little skirts with ribbons around them.