Father's Day

It took a little longer for me to understand how much I owe my dad. Let me be frank: to my childhood self, my father was a regular tyrant. He made mework for every penny of allowance I got, and boy did I complain about it. Other kids around me got 5 whole dollars a week for nothing, I got 2 for doing the dishes and putting my laundry away. I felt trapped in unjust
servitude. Heck, he didn't even pay me for my grades!

My dad made me learn how to drive a stick shift when I was 15. I wanted to go to the mall, but no, I had to drive my dad to Home Depot in a hoopty Isuzu trooper every Sunday. He made me learn how to change a tire and check my oil. When I turned 16, there was no car with a red bow on it in my driveway, no sirree. I waitressed at Pizza Hut all summer to pay for 1/2 of my car (dad did cover the rest).

Perhaps you see where this is going. By the time I was 21, I was largely self sufficient. My peers wandered around in post college limbo; I worked full time and paid my rent. I have been paying my own bills for 7 years now, and it feels pretty damned good. Plus, I can drive a stick shift. I
don't need a man to pay my expenses or change my tires (though I am glad that my man wants to help with both).

Dad taught me not to make excuses for myself. When something goes wrong, I could waste a lot of time trying to figure out who to blame or why theuniverse is against me. I don't. This is largely because dad never blamed teachers for my bad grades, coaches for my inability to make it out of right field, or the government for my inability to find professional work after
college. Dad taught me the value of taking responsibility for my own life.

Were I a building--dad is a builder, to anyone who doesn't know--dad built me an incredibly solid and deep foundation of self reliance and responsibility. And he did it while I was screaming and crying that he was an evil father.

Happy Father's Day, dad! You probably won't even read this until after I'm back in South Korea.