Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Xander is three months old now.  This seems to be going around the expat-in-Korea-who-has-baby blogosphere (yes, there are more than one of us), so I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

1. Breastfeeding is harder than you think it is, but worth it (see this post).
   
   
2. Sleep deprivation post baby is not as bad as it was pre-baby.
   I haven't slept through the night in three months. I'm one of those people who never wanted to pull an all nighter, but after I had Xander I adapted quickly to what sleep I got. Xander is a pretty good sleeper now; on a good night he'll wake up once. I find that if I do happen to sleep for six hours in a row (which is my record), I'll wake up in a panic thinking that I've somehow forgotten my baby.
   
   
3. Getting a baby to sleep is a unique challenge.
   Our challenge is nap time. I find myself taking him on a car ride, a stroll, or putting him in his ergo and walking around so that I can coax at least a small nap out of him every day. Even at bedtime I have to coax him to sleep, only to sit down and have him wake up again immediately. I'll be that we spend 20% of Xander's waking hours trying to get him to sleep.
   
   
4. Babies need constant stimulation, but surprisingly mundane things will stimulate them.
   Okay, Xander has a full gamut of noisemaking, light up, colorful toys, and he does love most of them. He also loves watching me eat, sitting on the couch propped up on pillows, staring at the wallpaper, and sucking his hands.
   
   
5. Babies can go stir crazy.
   Xander has admittedly had an exciting early life, so maybe we set him up to be easily bored. Like me, he will get cranky if we keep him inside for too long. He has to see new things. The look of wonder he gets in his eyes when watching the world go by from his stroller is incredible.
   
   
6. Babies like to keep you guessing.
   As soon as I think I've figured him out, he'll throw me for a loop. He'll suddenly refuse to nurse. He'll cry, and everything I know of to get him to stop won't work. He'll stop (almost) sleeping through the night. It's like he knows when I've gotten too confident with my parenting skills.
   
   
7. Tummy time is a total drag.
   Okay, I know we're all supposed to do this for 30 minutes a day. I have a hard time coaxing Xander into fifteen minutes of tummy time. As soon as I put him on his belly, we start the amazing mommy show, during which I pull out toy after toy, sing, rub him, and chant in a constant effort to keep him from melting down. I'm starting to see his peers pull ahead of him in the skills learned during tummy time, which leads me to try harder, but Xander is just not interested.
   
   
8. There is more than one way to be a parent.
   Everyone is sure that their style is the only way to raise children. I see book after book come out touting styles that range from tough love to constant contact and baby wearing. While social workers can certainly tell you that there are wrong ways to be a parent, many people manage to raise good, independent, smart and creative children using their own methods. Parenting methods, like politics and religion, are loaded topics that people feel very strongly about, and should probably not be discussed in mixed company.
   
   
9. Babies turn new mothers into a ball of tears.
   When he was a newborn, I would cry at least four times a day. I was faced with these new, overwhelming feelings, and I guess that was my way of dealing with them. I still can't listen to John Lennon's “Beautiful Boy” without crying.
   
   
10. Parenting changes the universe.
    I was not prepared for this. Everyone in my life whom I loved before he came--my husband, my friends, my family, my pets—all faded into the background when I had Xander, eclipsed by the love I feel for my son. It's indescribable. It's frightening.
    
    
    The dreaded tummy time
    
    

Boss baby propped up in daddy's chair