Things I wish breastfeeding advocates would come clean about

I remember how, in DARE class, we learned that if you tried just one “marijuana cigarette,” you began the path to professional failure, solitude, and general self destruction. When I learned that this was not true, I was tempted to throw everything I learned about drugs away. I won't start on drug education's failures...that could take me awhile. I found myself reminded of DARE class when I started breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding advocates, like DARE, make many points, some of which are dead on and some of which are just propaganda. Many will try and tell you that breastfeeding is painless and completely enjoyable, leading pregnant me to wonder why so many women opt not to breastfeed. None mention the extreme time commitment that breastfeeding requires, or the changes in your lifestyle it entails. There's never any room for supplementation, and most won't even mention that breast pumps and bottles exist. Instead, there's this idea that if you feed your baby just one bottle, he will go down a path of solitude, professional failure, and general self-destruction (a.k.a. “nipple confusion”).

Imagine my surprise when I found out that breastfeeding does hurt, even when you're “doing it right.” I spent many hours trying to relatch my screaming baby because I was sure that if I just got him on there right, it wouldn't hurt. I was dismayed to find myself chained to the couch, where breastfeeding became a full time job. It was hard to take my young baby anywhere, because even though nursing in public is doable, it is not possible in many places, like outside during the winter or in a moving car. Going for four or five hours during he day without feeding or pumping would mean painful engorgement and leaking through my shirt. Early on, I opted to hand my husband a bottle so that I could have four hours of uninterrupted sleep at night, which turned out to be a sound decision that cost my baby nothing. I actually started producing enough milk to feed him pumped milk at night while I was supplementing.

Here is what I would like to say to any woman considering breastfeeding. It is hard. It hurts, and it sucks up your time. You will find yourself wishing you had a longer arm so that you could get yourself a glass of water/do those dirty dishes/pull out a book/answer the phone while you are pinned to the couch feeding the baby. You will keep a running clock in your head at all times so that you are never away when the baby becomes hungry. Breastfeeding is a challenge, but it is worth it. The health benefits to your baby—which you are well aware of if you have read any of the literature—are numerous. You have done pregnancy and childbirth. You can do breasfeeding. And if you become exhausted, hand your hubby a bottle and take a rest. Your baby will not become hopelessly nipple-confused, and your milk will not dry up.