This American Life this week features Americans in China. It brings back a lot of memories about the expat experience, particularly that of toeing the line between being informed and judgmental. I admit, I'm a little ashamed of the things I wrote about Korean culture when I first started this blog. I leave them all up because I think, more than anything, this is my (public) diary of my experience. I wrote those things because I was frustrated, far from home, and naively thought that I understood Korea.
Two things in the podcast really stuck with me. One was an expat who wisely said (and I'm paraphrasing here) that you will continuously discover things that shock and offend your western sensibilities, but you can't "dwell in the land of indignation." The other was some writers poking fun of expat blogs, all of which are "arch and condescending." This is true. It's very difficult, maybe impossible, to avoid being condescending as an American living in Korea. There are so many things--abundant plastic surgery and an obsession with appearance, rampant sexism, glorification of conformity--that are jarring to us. Either we rage against them, as I often did, or accept that they're the product of a different set of values, an otherness. And once we start defining people as "others", we're toeing a delicate line, with racism and ignorance on the other side.
So how does one avoid dwelling in the land of indignation and writing an entire culture off as inscrutable? I don't know.
Foreigners add value to every society. The perspectives they provide contain truth, though perhaps truth shrouded in ignorance and condescension. It was a very interesting role to play for awhile, and I find myself missing it sometimes. Don't get me wrong, we're still foreigners of sorts. I guess I have never lived anywhere where I felt like I really belonged. I could certainly poke holes in Hawaiian culture (I never will, the wounds are far too raw) or North Carolinian culture, but there is nothing quite as alien to me as Korean culture. It really was quite a ride.
1 comment:
Well said! And I am glad you are leaving your blog posts as they are. They serve many purposes, for me I like to go back and read again to recall how you felt those first months in Korea. I enjoy seeing Korea through your eyes, and do not view the comments as all that negative, BTW. Yes, there is commentary on the obsession with outward appearance and the status of women, but that is on target. We are all judges at heart.
You don't give yourself enough credit for the adventurer that you are. Few people are brave enough to take a new job abroad, move their family there, and make a life in a foreign land. Personally, I hope you attempt it again someday, and show Xander what cool people his parent are. And don't wait until he is a teenager, because he will complain about everything you do, no matter what you do, its part of being an adolescent. Remember that challenging yourself on a regular basis keeps you flexible. Don't lose sight of that!
Post a Comment