Week three

Xander is three weeks old now. I have been trying to go outside at least once a day, which can be harder than it sounds with Xander's feeding schedule. We took him to base for a stroll earlier this week. It was a pleasant trip until he decided he was hungry about ½ mile from the car, and we had to rush back with him screaming in the stroller. Another time while we were on base, I brought him into the library for a diaper change, and he cried for my entire rush through the bathroom, to the DVD section to pick up a movie, and through the checkout counter. I was that person with a crying child in the library. Now we keep outings under an hour, and that works out okay. We have taken some strolls around the neighborhood, but it's gotten cold enough to keep Xander inside.

He's starting to bulk up a little, thanks to all the feeding. Hopefully he'll have cute baby fat rolls when we take him to NC. He spends more time awake, and likes to look at his baby toys.

On his playmat

Bobby and his mini me

He's sleeping

Baby's first trip to Seoul

This past Thursday and Friday we went to Seoul.  We had to get Xander a passport quickly so we can leave the country on the 21st.  Going to Seoul around Christmas has become something of a tradition, and I was excited to bring the baby.  We brought the camera and everything.

As it turns out, transporting a newborn long distances is an all consuming task.  Xander eats every 1-2 hours, so I was glad to see that there are nursing rooms on the train and at the stations (as it turns out, the one on the train is a closet).  We haven't gotten good enough at breastfeeding to do it discreetly in public.  He was good for the entire trip up to Seoul, thanks to the nursing room at Dongdaegu Station and the soothing motion of the train.  We stayed the night at the Dragon Hill lodge, where I tried to get him sufficiently fed so that I could go to sleep at a decent time.  Bobby and I sleep in shifts, and I go to sleep as soon as he's down at night, around 11 or 12.  Bobby feeds him a bottle if he cries for food before 4am, when my shift starts.  I made sure to wake him up in the morning early enough to get in two feedings before we had to leave for the Embassy.  After we left the Embassy, I fed him at Seoul Station, where he ate for almost an hour but was whimpering for more when I put him in the ergo to get on the train.  He slept for the entire train ride, only to wake up squalling ten minutes before our stop.  I had time to change him, but not to feed him, and he screamed in his ergo while we stood in the aisle and waited for the train to pull into the station.  I rushed him to the nursing room yet again, while Bobby secured a late lunch.  After Xander finished eating, I wolfed down a bowl of now-cold Udon and we went to get a taxi.  He cried for half of the taxi ride because it was feeding time again.  He was up for half of the night, probably because of all of the excitement of the previous two days.

We didn't get any pictures!  There was no enjoying the scenery or getting shots of baby next to the Dragon Hill Lodge's decorations.  I hope we've settled into a more reasonable feeding schedule when we take our big trip later this month.  Until then, we're not leaving the house for longer than two hours.

Eyeing me suspiciously

looking very handsome in his "handsome" onesie

Happy birthday to me, happy due date to Xander

Today was supposed to be our birthday, but I'm not sorry that I don't share it. The past week has been busy. I was not aware that breastfeeding a newborn was a full time job, but Xander eats for at least eight hours a day. During the period of time when we were both trying to get used to breastfeeding, he lost some weight, so I'm happy to feed him whenever he wants. Unfortunately, I also have to eat, go to the bathroom, shower, and occasionally just spend some time not attached to my barracuda baby. This leaves Bobby trying to calm a hungry baby for mom's ten minute break. During these times, he has discovered that Xander likes to be held upside down (supported, of course), have raspberries blown on his tummy, and turned over so that he can see the floor. I guess he likes new perspectives.

We had our first outing yesterday. It took us almost three hours to get ready. Most of this time was spent eating, though he decided to mess his diaper when we finally got him in his car seat. We cleaned him up, but he messed it again in the doctor's office. Must be all that eating!  I was pleasantly surprised to see that I lost half of my baby weight having Xander.  We took him by the PX after our visit—I'm going a little stir crazy—and showed him off to some folks. One lady told me to take him out so she could hold him, but I pretended not to hear her. Call me overprotective, but no one can hold the baby just yet. We are looking, not touching, at least not without washing your hands first.

Bobby got me an ihome for my birthday. It's great: now I can listen to music while I'm feeding the baby.

I know they can't smile yet, but what does that look like to you?  He gets those red marks on his chin when he's just finished eating.

Looking at mama

On the changing table, but not crying

The thinker

Thanksgiving dinner

He's here!

We were going to a doctor's appointment last Tuesday when we were halted by a civil defense drill. A siren went off, and men wearing yellow armbands shooed everyone off of the road. They even turned off the traffic lights. We were at a market, so I decided to make use of our time and buy a lot of produce. This turned out not to be a serendipitous move.

We got to the doctor's and went through the same rigamarole as always. She did an ultrasound, checked his head size, torso size, and thighbone. The shot of his head showed him drinking amniotic fluid. I knew he loved to eat! She listened to his heartbeat. Then she breathed through her teeth. This is Korean for “something is not good.” She told me the baby looked good, but she wanted to do a non stress test. I went to a little room, and they strapped some sensors around my belly which read the baby's heartbeat (and, as I later found out, contractions). After 20 minutes, we went back to the office and the doctor told us that she wanted to do another test after hydrating me. We went to a delivery room and I got an IV. We called the neighbor and told him we would be late coming home and asked him to take the dog out. After about two hours worth of fluid, I got another test. Then Dr. Choi came in and told me that she wanted to induce me because the baby's heartbeat was a little low.

I was certain that I wanted a natural birth and prepared to fight for one, but once the doctor said the baby may be in danger, I was willing to do anything. This is probably how some mothers get roped into unnecessary C-sections. I felt very bad that Xander would not be able to come on his own terms (and a little sorry that I bought all that produce). Fortunately, I had already packed my hospital bag.

We stayed overnight—the hospital had a nice futon for Bobby to sleep on—while they tried a non-invasive method for inducing delivery called a vaginal cap. It didn't work, so the next morning they started me on pitocin. I started labor that afternoon, and by 6pm had only progressed to 3cm. Since I hadn't eaten all day (and had adamantly refused an epidural), the doctor decided to stop the pitocin and start again the next day at a higher dose. I had a big meal, slept a little, and started pitocin at 6 the next morning. By 6:30, I was in labor again. By 12, I was at 4cm. I was dealing with the pain by walking around, but after 5 ½ hours of walking, I was exhausted. The contractions were coming on top of each other, and then my water broke. There was muconium in it, which is a sign of fetal distress. The nurses immediately put me on another non-stress test, which required me to lie on my side. The pain was unbearable, so I asked for an epidural. Notice how non-natural my delivery has become?

Throughout my labor, the nurses had been administering non-stress tests. Sometimes the baby's heart rate dropped dangerously low. When this happened, the nurses turned me on my side, turned off the pitocin, told me to take slow, deep breaths, and gave me oxygen. It made Bobby and me panic, but the doctor assured us that since his heart rate always rose again, it was not an emergency situation. She did ramp up the pitocin to ensure a shorter labor, since it was obviously hard on the baby.

During the four hours I was on the epidural, my labor progressed quickly. I by 4, I was at 8cm and it was time to push. The doctor ordered the epidural cut off, much to my dismay. The nurse made me lie on my back and push while she located the baby's head. Everyone knows labor hurts, but I was not prepared for that kind of pain. The nurse told me not to yell, but to concentrate all of my energy on pushing. That wasn't so easy.

They left me alone for awhile to push on my own, which I sorta did. I needed someone to yell at me to put my all into it. The doctor came in and did that for me. A nurse pressed on my belly and found out when I was contracting, then she and the doctor told me when to take a deep breath and push. After a few good pushes, she announced that it was time to deliver my baby. A bunch of equipment appeared in the room. They set up stirrups, got Bobby to put on a gown, and brought in three nurses. One got on the table and pushed on my belly, and two held my legs. I made one final push, and Xander emerged at 5:58pm on November 17 (with the help of a suction cup). He screamed like we hoped he would. They laid him on my belly and told me not to touch him. Bobby cut the cord, and a nurse wrapped the baby in a huge pad. They laid him on my chest. He was very sticky, screaming and coughing intermittently. The nurse leaned over and sucked mucus out of his nose and mouth. She told us that she was taking him to the nursery to give him oxygen, since he had swallowed some amniotic fluid. I still wonder if this was a translation error, and he had in fact aspirated it, but I'm not sure. I think babies who aspirate amniotic fluid go to the NICU.

I thanked Dr. Choi, and she left. Someone immediately came in with a stretcher to take me to a recovery room. After 48 hours, it was finally time to leave the delivery area. I shook like crazy, which is something my mom did, too. It kind of worried the nurses, but after labor, it was nothing to me. The nursery kept the baby overnight to monitor his breathing. I was not supposed to get up for 12 hours, but Bobby went to see him in the nursery. He said when the nurses held the baby up for Bobby, the Koreans in the area crowded to the window to see him.

We left the hospital after a day in recovery, and brought Xander home. After being peed on a couple of times, putting a diaper on backwards, and trying to get the hang of breastfeeding, I have to say we get a little better at parenting every day. Xander was born on my sister's wedding day, which is one of those things I don't even see in fiction. They mentioned him in the ceremony.

I'm completely in love with him and learning more about him every day. Since this a blog about living in Korea, I have to give my kudos to the Korean medical system. It was frustrating at times to have nurses with limited English, and they actually sent in a poor candy striper with no English to do my non-stress test while I was in a pretty painful part of my labor. She wisely brought in a nurse when I started shouting at her. Nonetheless, we had a wonderfully huge delivery room, and lots of English speaking good care. There was always an English speaker to help me, whether in the delivery area, the recovery room, or the nursery. And, of course, the fantastic Dr. Choi, who brought Xander and me through the process safely and soundly, also speaks fluent English. I was not pushed into a c-section, but was allowed to take 48 hours to deliver. When we were discharged, our English speaking coordinator apologized for the bill, which was approximately $750 for five days in the hospital. We laughed. We have seen some substantial hospital bills during our relationship, and this was nothing.

He's one day old

With daddy

In his boppy

Recent events

This happened. The particularly violent crimes that our own people have committed against Koreans has been very much in the news here recently. USFK reinstated the curfew, and I have received information on the legal rights of foreigners in Korea (something that I arguably should have gotten when I arrived here).

I am ashamed of what my countrymen are doing, of course. Foreigners here are always on display, and we represent the United States to all of the locals. Sometimes I poke fun at this by ordering a different dish from my husband at a restaurant or walking in my neighborhood in a tank top with a big pregnant belly, but I am aware that truly misbehaving stains the United States's already tarnished reputation. When someone else misbehaves, I hate them for it. Normally this involves glaring at the guy who calls the flight attendant five times before the plane leaves or the people in line at the supermarket who believe that yelling in English will make the counter attendant magically understand. When something like these violent crimes happen, we all walk with our eyes down for awhile. There have been anti-American protests.  I understand their anger.

There has recently been noise about disproportionate sentencing when the defendant is a foreigner. I am sure that this happens. I am also sure that it happens in the United States, and probably most countries in the world. Foreigners who commit crimes are just more egregious. We are guests in this country, and we have violated their hospitality. Furthermore, I think a ten year sentence for the violent rape of a minor is appropriate. I think that it's ridiculous that the South Korean legal system considers intoxication a mitigating circumstance, but that's really the only thing in the article that made me angry.

On a side note, the victim of the crime had her door unlocked.  You see things like this over here because of an insistence that there's no crime in Korea.  This, along with gender politics and a fervent, untempered patriotism lends an aura of the 1950's to this place.  Apparently, many Koreans have become easy targets of bank fraud because they will willingly give their personal information to someone who calls and says they are from the bank.  I am not sure where this idea comes from, just like I am not sure why people think that America was crime free in the 1950's, but it causes more harm than good.

Last year around this time there were a bunch of protests following the shelling of Yeonpyeong Island.  Many Koreans were angry that the government didn't retaliate.  As far as I am aware, that incident is now a memory.  I hope my fellow Americans can behave, and these incidents will become memory, too.

Ready as we'll ever be

Today I'm nine months pregnant.  To celebrate, I went out and bought our last essential: a baby monitor.  It unfortunately does not reach from our villa to the empty lot next door.  We were hoping for a way to take the dog out without the baby, but no dice.  We've washed most of the clothes and bedding and set up the baby's room.  I can't say we're ready, but we're as ready as we'll ever be.

Yesterday, we said goodbye to Uncle Mike, who stopped in for a quick visit.  We went to some good restaurants and took some walks around the neighborhood.

I need a week or two to tie things up at work, but after that, he's welcome to come.  The sooner the better!   We have ambitious travel plans for the holidays that require Xander to make a safe and timely entrance.

The nursery, probably as clean as it will ever be

Me, not in my Sunday best

The autumn leaves caress the trees

Things You Don't See Every Day

Apparently there were three wild boars wandering around my neighborhood this weekend.  One of them sprinted through a gate and made it into Camp Walker, where he ran amok and scared people for awhile.  Eventually the fire department, Korean Animal Control, and the MP's captured the boar and put him down, since he was acting aggressively.

They think the boars came from the mountain next to my house (!!).  The woods I walk through several times a week are relatively wildlife free.  I see a deer once and awhile, and I have seen quail, a squirrel, and a chipmunk.  I can't imagine that there are boars in there.

I'm disappointed that I was on Camp Walker on Saturday and I missed all of the excitement.  Wild boars at the commissary?  Sounds like a show.